So these are two up close shots of paintings i'm working on. They both still have a lot work until they are done, but so far i like where they are headed.
Working with larger scale canvas is a joy and a headache all at the same time. I enjoy the movement involved though, having to step back to see whats going on as well as the larger area a brush can move in. Long swoops of paint. All that jazz.
It gives me time to think though, about how much i hate art. Or the term artist. Or the people that call themselves artists, or the need to create. I think that's what i hate, the damn need to create something. I don't hate art or artists, just the need to create.
Im not the type of person that sees what the finished piece is in my head before i start, i just wing it. But i know what i want the overall end result to be like. I know i want people to look at it and think "that fool has talent, but why did he do this that way? Why is it so fucked and lovely". Ehhh, maybe i don't know what i want people to think?
The non creative people are lucky in my opinion. They get to sleep while we are hunched over in a dirty smoke filled work space choking on paint fumes till 6 am. Get to be sitting down to a nice dinner while we are standing on a corner watching traffic patterns waiting for the perfect time write on the wall behind us. Bastards.
The longer i'm alive, the more i realize i have no idea what im doing.
